Beijing China – China state media is reporting that the nation’s all-round nice guy “Chairman of everything”, Xi Jinping, will be taking time off from genocide, subjugation and the seizing of territory from neighbouring nations, to star as “Pooh” in the upcoming Winnie the Pooh movie. Such a move has come as a surprise to many given Mr Xi’s loathing for being likened to Winnie the Pooh due to his, well, likeness to the popular bear.
Strategists in the countries benevolent Chinese Communist Party, feel that the portrayal of Mr Xi as a lovable and slightly dimwitted bear will improve his appeal both domestically and abroad, with the intention that Mr Xi will be seen as more likeable and less threatening.
US commentators have pointed out that Pooh is a great fit for China’s all powerful dictator for life fun loving Chairman, due to his unmistakeable carbon-copy like similarity. The state department have gone so far as to issue guidance that effective immediately Mr Xi is instead be referred to as simply “Pooh”, or more formally, “Mr Pooh”.
While many have “pooh-poohed” Xi Jinping’s venture into entertainment as a blatant publicity stunt, others feel it does not go far enough, and are encouraging US President Joe Biden to audition for the role of Winnie the Pooh’s close friend Christopher Robin; such a move would go a long way to demonstrate a deep friendship between the word’s most corrupt and the world’s least popular presidents, although which leader deserves which of those rather unbecoming titles is something we’ll leave you, our readers, to decide.
