{"id":852,"date":"2021-09-16T11:57:22","date_gmt":"2021-09-16T11:57:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=852"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:54:29","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:54:29","slug":"new-zealand-not-invited-to-aukus-due-to-lack-of-military","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/new-zealand-not-invited-to-aukus-due-to-lack-of-military\/","title":{"rendered":"New Zealand not invited to AUKUS due to lack of Military"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – <\/strong>New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to include them in a pact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Australian Prime Minister said the exclusion of New Zealand from the deal was purely a problem of pronunciation, “we just couldn’t fit NZ into the acronym, I mean, AUKUSNZ? NZAUKUS? AUNZUKUS? How is anyone supposed to pronounce that? From being nuclear free to have a terrible country name, New Zealand is always difficult, maybe they could change their name – we’d prefer a vowel if that’s possible”<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

New Zealand, in a move reminiscent of a “it’s not me, it’s you” comeback, has told Australia that they’re sticking to their guns and not allowing nuclear powered ships into New Zealand waters. Of course, they mean this metaphorically as New Zealand has barely any guns, well the police have a shotgun somewhere, but really guns in New Zealand are reserved strictly for terrorists in the land of the long white cloud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adding fuel to the fire, New Zealand has said they would not permit the new Australia’s nuclear power submarines in their waters, although we’re not quite sure how they intend on doing that given that New Zealand barely has a navy and wouldn’t know if the submarines were sitting in the middle of the Auckland or Wellington harbour, and even if they did, their anti-submarine capabilities are limited to a row-boat and a megaphone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When asked about the exclusion from AUKUS, the New Zealand Navy confirmed that “we have been busy downgrading our combat capability, and have nearly completed it, all we have left is to retire our two frigates and we’ll have no combat ships at all. We’re placing our defence bets on New Zealand not being included in most maps, making the entire country rather stealthy – pretty neat huh?”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":853,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[26,8,12,9,25,13,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-852","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-americas","category-australia","category-humour","category-new-zealand","category-oceania","category-satire","category-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/852"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=852"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/852\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":854,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/852\/revisions\/854"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=852"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=852"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=852"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}