{"id":695,"date":"2021-08-08T11:17:19","date_gmt":"2021-08-08T11:17:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=695"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:54:56","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:54:56","slug":"gun-ownership-now-more-dangerous-than-covid19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/gun-ownership-now-more-dangerous-than-covid19\/","title":{"rendered":"Gun ownership now more dangerous than COVID19"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Washington DC. August 8th 2021 – <\/strong>New research revealed today by the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, has confirmed that owning a gun is now more fatal than COVID19. Speaking on the condition anonymity, the Chief Medical Advisor explained “now, when someone dies, we check if they are positive for COVID19, and if they are, regardless as to how they died, the death is chalked up as being caused by COVID19. There are many instances of this that have been reported in the media, for example where someone has a car accident or a heart attack, but also happens to be positive for COVID19, they will be officially recorded as a COVID death.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“This kind of classification was great under Trump, as it made him look bad, which was the whole reason we started doing it! I mean of all the things I did to undermine Trump, from discrediting the Wuhan lab leak theory to mask mandates, this was probably the best, and what could he do? If he fired his trusty public health spokesman he’d make me into a martyr, so he had to stick with me undermining him – am I brilliant or what?!<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“The problem now is, that the COVID19 death classification policy is now negatively impacted the Biden administration, I mean, some have suggested that the President’s obvious dementia or the Vice President’s nervous cackling laugh or handing or the border crisis is causing the drops in the polls, however I disagree, it’s clearly the COVID19 story that is responsible for the Biden administration’s performance in the polls.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Thus today we are announcing that we will begin collected gun ownership information when someone dies. If a person has owned a gun, fired a gun, or knows someone who has, then the death will be classified as gun related and not COVID19. This policy will cause two outcomes, firstly it will make it look like the Biden administration has very few COVID19 deaths, and secondly, it will provide justification for us to take away everyone’s guns, which is important if we’re ever going to turn this country into an authoritarian regime, just like our comrades in Cuba did<\/em>.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
By reclassifying deaths as data clearly shows that COVID19 deaths were much higher under Trump, which makes sense because he’s not a Democrat.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Washington DC. August 8th 2021 – New research revealed today by the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, has confirmed that owning a gun is now more fatal than COVID19. Speaking on the condition anonymity, the Chief Medical Advisor explained “now, when someone dies, we check if they are positive for COVID19, and if they…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,5,13,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","category-politics","category-satire","category-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=695"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":707,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695\/revisions\/707"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=695"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=695"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}