{"id":31,"date":"2020-08-27T13:15:43","date_gmt":"2020-08-27T13:15:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=31"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:55:27","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:55:27","slug":"royal-new-zealand-navy-commissions-hmnzs-te-row-row","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/royal-new-zealand-navy-commissions-hmnzs-te-row-row\/","title":{"rendered":"Royal New Zealand Navy commissions HMNZS Te Row Row"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

AUCKLAND, New Zealand, August 27th 2020 – <\/strong>T<\/a>he Royal New Zealand Navy today announced the commissioning of it’s newest vessel, the HMNZS Te Row Row, a Dinghy class vessel.<\/a> The ship is touted as a “game changer”<\/em> for New Zealand, which will build upon the New Zealand Defense Force’s long running emasculation program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In line with the Navy’s “make love, not war”<\/em> policy, the vessel will not be equipped with any armaments or distress flares, but the crew of one will carry a whistle and signaling flags for emergency communications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rear Admiral Will U. Paddle<\/em> was unavailable for comment, but the defense minister released a statement confirming the commissioning of the new vessel;“The commissioning of the HMNZS Te Row Row will see the Royal New Zealand Navy expand its capabilities to include the capacity to patrol inland waterways, giving us a decisive strategic advantage as we combat increased levels of illegal rubbish dumping amid Chinese bans on recycling imports. In light of current global and domestic challenges, that this is a significant area of focus for the Navy.”<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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HMNZS Te Row Row will assist police operations in inland waterways.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The HMNZS Te Row Row’s first deployment will be in operation “up the creek without a paddle”<\/em>, where the Navy will be undertake multi-agency operations with police in the detention<\/s> incarceration<\/s> protection of Aucklanders who attempt to evade lock down via the Waikato River and surrounding inlets. Police Commissioner Loch M. Up<\/em> was quoted as saying that “The HMNZS Te Row Row will play a vital role in ensuring that uniformed officers avoid getting their feet wet with operational deployments. Our officers spend a lot of time washing and ironing their wet socks at night and are looking forward to the operational efficiencies that the HMNZS Te Row Row offers them”<\/em><\/strong>. The Te Row Row is seen as playing a vital role in ensuring non-compliant Aucklanders who act in defiance of the Prime Minister’s decree<\/s> health advice are rounded up for their own protection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Political Controversy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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The purchase of the HMNZS Te Row Row has been shrouded in political squabbling<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Recently allegations of corruption enveloped the purchase after it came to light that the cost of the vessel and refit exceeded more than $500. A spokesperson confirmed that the Navy had scoured Auckland beaches in search of a suitable vessel, but ultimately selected the Prime Minister’s tinny as most suitable, prompting the opposition to raise concerns about the lack of due process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The opposition leader challenged the government during question time, stating that “the Warehouse has an inflatable dinghy on sale for $99, which is both light, durable and comes with its own emergency whistle and a foot pump – you just cant beat their prices! This raft would have allowed the Navy to acqu<\/em><\/strong>ire se<\/strong><\/em>veral vessels, allowing simultaneous operations across in multiple New Zealand<\/em><\/strong> estuaries and inlets, vastly increasing the reach of the New Zealand Defense Force. Did I mention they come with a whistle and<\/span> a no-questions-asked 30-day right of return?! That is of course provided treasury doesn’t lose the receipt.”<\/em><\/strong> The Government has denied that the inflatable dingy is an option, referring to New Zealand Security Intelligence Service (NZSIS) advice that the it was Chinese made, but refusing to give further details of the specific security threat citing confidentiality of national security advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Prime Minister was contacted for comment, but staff said she was in over her head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The NZ Navy has commissioned the HMNZS Te Row Row, a Dinghy class vessel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":33,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,9,25,13],"tags":[16,17,14,15],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","category-new-zealand","category-oceania","category-satire","tag-australia","tag-covid-19","tag-humour","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions\/108"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}