{"id":241,"date":"2020-09-03T13:40:48","date_gmt":"2020-09-03T13:40:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=241"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:55:26","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:55:26","slug":"state-leaders-burning-down-cities-sows-seeds-of-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/state-leaders-burning-down-cities-sows-seeds-of-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"State leaders: Burning down cities sows seeds of growth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

WISCONSIN, USA, September 3rd 2020 – <\/strong>State leaders have defended the burning of towns and cities by peaceful protestors across America, claiming it will allow cities to grow stronger. An unnamed elected state official said “the burning down of a forest allows rejuvenation and regrowth, giving opportunities to smaller plants who had been systemically prevented from growing due to the larger more established trees, not unlike the one-percent in our cities. In the same way, we see the burning down of our towns and cities, wiping out businesses, homes and livelihoods, not through the lens of destruction, but as an opportunity to take back our communities from the evils of capitalism, giving opportunity to the ninety-nine percent, and removing the bonds of systemic bias, fascism, inequality and racism.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We asked what the spokesperson was smoking, as we’d like some too, but they declined to tell us.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

When it was pointed out that many of the neighbourhoods burned down were inner-city poor areas, with disproportionally black or minority residents and business owners, the spokesperson said “let’s not blame the actions or inactions of anyone in allowing this social unrest, what’s important to remember is it’s the system which is racist, and not your fine elected officials whom fully support the struggles of peaceful rioters across America.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Remember the states, not the President, are responsible for the regrowth we’re unlocking in our towns and cities, just like states are responsible for the COVID-19 response. No, I mean, the President screwed up the COVID-19 response, not us! Sorry what was the question? What I’m trying to say here is, if the outcome is good, it’s on us, if the outcome is bad, blame the President.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it’s growing incompetence or growing new cities, we’re sure that our faithful elected officials are up for the job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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State leaders feel that burning down cities is much like a forest fire, and in the long run mostly positive.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WISCONSIN, USA, September 3rd 2020 – State leaders have defended the burning of towns and cities by peaceful protestors across America, claiming it will allow cities to grow stronger. An unnamed elected state official said “the burning down of a forest allows rejuvenation and regrowth, giving opportunities to smaller plants who had been systemically prevented…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[26,12,13,18],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-americas","category-humour","category-satire","category-usa","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":255,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions\/255"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}