{"id":174,"date":"2020-09-01T13:28:31","date_gmt":"2020-09-01T13:28:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=174"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:55:26","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:55:26","slug":"north-korea-nukes-itself-in-defiance-of-sanctions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/north-korea-nukes-itself-in-defiance-of-sanctions\/","title":{"rendered":"North Korea nukes itself in defiance of sanctions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

BUSAN, Korea, September 1st 2020 –<\/strong> North Korea has blown itself off the map, in what is seen as a direct attack on the international community’s refusal to recognise the regimes right to possess nuclear weapons. Leading up to the nuking of the entire country, the regime gave the international community just 24 hours to recognise that North Korea had the legitimate right to possess nuclear weapons for peaceful civilian purposes, or they would be forced to launch an all out nuclear attack on an unspecified target. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Analysts are in disagreement on the reason why the hermit regime had targeted themselves, however a leading daytime television psychologist suggested that “had North Korea allowed gambling, online gaming and legalised Marijuana, the Kim family could have found the same kind of empty happiness experienced by millions of Americans, and this wouldn’t have had to happen”. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Intelligence agencies have pointed out the strategic nature of the self-nuking action, “this is seen as a decisive victory for the North Koreans and an embarrassment for the United States, and indeed all those involved in denuclearisation negotiations with the North. In one action the North Korean regime has proven once and for all that they not only had a very capable nuclear arsenal, but also that they were able to use it without kow-towing to demands of the West. The North Koreans certainly got the last word in on this dispute.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

China’s foreign ministry commented “Quite frankly we’re relieved, the North Koreans were so difficult to deal with we very nearly nuked them ourselves!” <\/em>When asked how the nuclear fallout might affect the Chinese border provinces, the official responded “it’s going to be one hell of a lot easier to deal with nuclear fallout than the Kim family, I mean the provinces will probably be habitable again in less than a decade, but the Kim dynasty has been going since 1948 – that’s more than 70 years! Enough is enough, we’d rather deal with unstable toxic nuclear waste than an unstable toxic nuclear regime. <\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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South Korean officials were evacuated from Seoul to the second most populous city of Busan, where they are said to stand united with the people of Seoul.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The South Korea government has said that “losing much of Seoul to the nuclear fallout is a price our government was willing to pay lasting peace. If we’d gone to war with the North, they would have destroyed Seoul anyway, and to be honest we’ve thought about moving the capital to Busan for a while now, so they’ve really saved us some effort! Fortunately our intelligence agencies indicated the North Korean target early, allowing us to get all government officials out of Seoul, while keeping the population in the dark, which is a good thing as if they’d found out the traffic out of Seoul would have really slowed down our escape.” <\/em> When asked how this might affect the future elections, the government spokesperson was confident “a dead voter can’t vote you out of office, so it’s fortunate that those didn’t die from the initial fall out should be long gone before the next National Assembly and Presidential elections!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The United States have said they’re ecstatic “The only reason we haven’t decoupled from China was because we needed them to drag the North Korean regime to the negotiating table; but with the North Korean problem literally annihilated, we will be pursuing an aggressive cold-shoulder strategy with China”.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BUSAN, Korea, September 1st 2020 – North Korea has blown itself off the map, in what is seen as a direct attack on the international community’s refusal to recognise the regimes right to possess nuclear weapons. Leading up to the nuking of the entire country, the regime gave the international community just 24 hours to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":176,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[23,12,13],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-asia","category-humour","category-satire","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=174"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":184,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions\/184"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}