{"id":1254,"date":"2021-10-11T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-11T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=1254"},"modified":"2021-10-10T10:28:46","modified_gmt":"2021-10-10T10:28:46","slug":"police-clear-themselves-of-all-wrongdoing-violence-justified-corruption-free","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/police-clear-themselves-of-all-wrongdoing-violence-justified-corruption-free\/","title":{"rendered":"Police clear themselves of all wrongdoing, violence justified, corruption-free"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Melbourne, Australia – <\/strong>In a shock announcement today, police have concluded that after a week long investigation into themselves that they’ve never done anything wrong, ever. Although the focus of the inquiry was on police violence during recent Melbourne protests, the inquiry cleared the police of all wrong from the beginning of time and into the future, forevermore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Investigating officer Constable Duno Wrong said “we looked ourselves in the mirror and looking back at us was a personification of integrity, honest and fairness. We try to separate ourselves from ourselves when investigating ourselves, and are pleased with the outcome. The results of this inquiry highlight the integrity and impartiality of the police, and goes a long way to vindicate police violence during recent anti-lock down protests in Melbourne.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We enjoy beating protestors as much as other police forces around the world, and although some have said we got carried away with the severe beating of elderly protestors, the outcome of this investigation into ourselves demonstrates otherwise. Every death in custody, violent beating and summary arrest was entirely justified.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Police have declared that justice has been served and they are squeaky-clean<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Police have said that they are willing to open similar inquiries into any future complaints against the police. The outcome of this and previous inquiries demonstrates their flawless record of always acting lawfully, within the requirements of the law, and never ever being corrupt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s understood that those who lodged the complaint against police which triggered this inquiry have since been detained on drug trafficking charges, after large quantities of cocaine were “found” in their homes as a result of police executing an unrelated warrant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyone wishing to file a complaint against police are encouraged to contact police to request an investigation into police. It is important complainants provide their full name, address and phone number so they can be contacted by police in case an unrelated search warrant into drug trafficking needs to be served. Complainants should feel assured that their confidentiality will be maintained, with details provided to police not disclosed to police and held in strict confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The police has emphasised that they are a professional organisation and reprisals will never-ever take place.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Melbourne, Australia – In a shock announcement today, police have concluded that after a week long investigation into themselves that they’ve never done anything wrong, ever. Although the focus of the inquiry was on police violence during recent Melbourne protests, the inquiry cleared the police of all wrong from the beginning of time and into…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":883,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1254"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1254"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1261,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1254\/revisions\/1261"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/883"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}