{"id":1104,"date":"2021-10-08T00:01:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-08T00:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=1104"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:53:45","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:53:45","slug":"god-adds-11th-commandment-thou-shalt-be-vaccinated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/god-adds-11th-commandment-thou-shalt-be-vaccinated\/","title":{"rendered":"God adds 11th commandment: Thou shalt be vaccinated"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Capitol Hill, Washington &#8211; <\/strong>Fauci descended the steps of Capitol Hill today, bringing forth a tablet of stone, enshrined with a new commandment from God himself. Fauci announced the new commandment to the waiting masses:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>&#8220;God cares so much for humanity that he has blessed us with a new commandment, &#8216;thou shalt be vaccinated&#8217; &#8220;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The religious community was taken completely by surprise, with the new commandment invigorate Christians across the nation to queue up for the COVID-19 vaccine in droves. One faithful Churchgoer exclaimed <strong><em>&#8220;as one of God&#8217;s faithful flock, I will follow His wishes without question.&#8221;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many Christians the nation over have pledged to show their devotion to their faith by having both two vaccine doses, the booster, and one extra, to show God the strength of their faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Biden administration are delighted with the new commandment, but also jelously irritated that Christians are prepared to follow the words of God, but not Biden or Fauci. <strong>&#8220;<em>We&#8217;ve really got to fix the first amendment, we can&#8217;t have people having more faith in God than they do the President or unelected bureaucrats&#8221;<\/em><\/strong>  cried out one Democrat senator in dismay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The spike in vaccinations across America is so great, that Fauci has said he&#8217;ll return up the stairs of Capitol Hill for some additional commandments from the President, er, we mean, God. Promising additions to the commandments include &#8220;thou shalt not mention Fauci authorised funding of Gain Of Function research&#8221; and &#8220;thou shalt not audit elections&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-rounded\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-medium\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" src=\"http:\/\/localhost\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel-300x201.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1125\" srcset=\"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel-300x201.jpg 300w, http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel-1024x687.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel-768x515.jpg 768w, http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel-1536x1030.jpg 1536w, http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/chisel.jpg 1741w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption><em>President Biden is reportedly chiselling away at new commandments his basement.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Capitol Hill, Washington &#8211; Fauci descended the steps of Capitol Hill today, bringing forth a tablet of stone, enshrined with a new commandment from God himself. Fauci announced the new commandment to the waiting masses: &#8220;God cares so much for humanity that he has blessed us with a new commandment, &#8216;thou shalt be vaccinated&#8217; &#8220;&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[26,12,13,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-americas","category-humour","category-satire","category-usa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1104"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1186,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1104\/revisions\/1186"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}