{"id":1080,"date":"2021-10-02T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-02T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=1080"},"modified":"2021-10-07T08:54:28","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T08:54:28","slug":"china-no-power-crisis-we-just-cant-find-the-light-switch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/china-no-power-crisis-we-just-cant-find-the-light-switch\/","title":{"rendered":"China: “No power crisis, we just can’t find the light switch”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Beijing, China – <\/strong>Chinese authorities have denied that the country is experiencing widespread power outages, instead claiming that there is no problem, they just can’t find the light switch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Somebody turned off the lights in our most populous cities, it’s just we’re having trouble finding the light switch in the dark<\/em><\/strong>” said one official, although we’re not sure which one, it was too dark to tell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contrary to the official statement offered by China’s state media, it has been claimed that the lack of power is a result of a lack of coal, caused by China’s ban on Australian coal imports. Chinese officials resolutely deny this is the case and have claimed that they have all the coal they need, however they just don’t need any right now as their power usage has dropped due to the lights being turned off and factory production halting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strangely officials have also insisted that all of China’s 1.4 billion population must endeavour to get on Santa’s naughty list, so they get a lump of coal for Christmas, thus ensuring a bumper December coal delivery during the countries coldest winter months. Australia have also offered to deliver China’s chairman Xi a lump of coal for Christmas as a gesture of good faith, however it’s understood Chinese officials have stopped taking calls Australian diplomats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although nobody really seems to know what’s going on inside China, if the Chinese Communist Party doesn’t work out how to turn the lights back on, it may be lights out for the regime. We certainly feel it’s important to try and see the light side of any situation, even the darkest of times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has often been described as dark, however until now, this was mean metaphorically.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Beijing, China – Chinese authorities have denied that the country is experiencing widespread power outages, instead claiming that there is no problem, they just can’t find the light switch. “Somebody turned off the lights in our most populous cities, it’s just we’re having trouble finding the light switch in the dark” said one official, although…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[23,24,12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-asia","category-china","category-humour","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1080"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1090,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions\/1090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/foxthink.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}