New York, USA – September 4th 2020 – MAGA has been rebranded “Make America Green Again”, in a move intended to take to fight for the White House directly to the Democrats. Trump said that a backbone policy of the new MAGA initiative was ensuring unemployed be required to pick up trash, reflecting the Republicans Green credentials.
In today’s press conference, Trump said “overreaction by the Democrats in response to COVID-19 has destroyed my great economy. This announcement will ensure that while many people will be poor, at least we’ll keep the country clean. Democrats keep on going on about their Green New Deal, well this is ours, brooms and rubbish bins will Make America Green Again far quicker than renewable energy ever will.”
Insiders within the Republican party explained why the controversial MAGA name was repurposed in the Green initiative, “we’ve already ordered millions of dollars worth of MAGA merchandise for the presidential election, so needed a slogan that wouldn’t require we throw away what has been a substantial investment for the party. We feel this will completely remove the stigma associated with MAGA.”
Costings released by the Republican party has shown that arming the unemployed with brooms and rubbish bags can be done for a fraction of the cost of the Democrats $100 trillion dollar Green New Deal. There are approximately 25 million unemployed Americans, even if the brooms and bags cost us $100, it will only cost $2.5 billion – that’s a fraction of a percent of the cost of Democrat’s policy.
A Republican spokesperson said “the divorce rate, violence, robberies, suicides, all are significantly up as a result of COVID-19 lockdowns. MAGA will ensure that people have something to focus their energy on, giving them a sense of pride and purpose. Let’s be honest, after the Antifa and BLM riots, there is a lot of rubble to clear up, so the more people we have working on the problem the better.”
