Wellington, New Zealand – Breaking research released today has confirmed fears that those with COVID are now the most likely group to spread the virus. Previously health authorities and politicians had understood that the virus was spread by the unvaccinated, regardless of whether they currently had the virus or not, however this latest research has put a fly in the ointment.
Health authorities and politicians alike are now scrambling look like they were right all along. A senior spokesman for the Ministry of Truth Health responded to the political health crisis by stating that “early indications are that this new research is the result of misinformation, disinformation and malinformation – whatever that is.
“Left unchallenged, this research will undermine our policy of barring the unvaccinated from public places, keeping students home from school and enforcing blanket work-from-home orders for everyone regardless of whether they have COVID or not.
“Until now our suppression strategy has meant that publication of research contrary to government edict was stopped at the peer-review process, but much like Zero-COVID, one always gets through eventually.“
A further announcement is expected as soon as the government have new science to debunk this latest unauthorised research, discredit and defund the authors, and ultimately justify the current policy of blaming the anti-vaxxers for pretty much everything.
