California, USA – The fossil fuel industry lobby and electrical utilities across the nation have raised the alarm over the dangers of solar power, after it was found that solar panels are reducing the available light by literally sucking up the sun’s rays.
In a survey of scientists from the fossil fuel industry, 99.9% agreed that solar panels have reduced the usable light on the planet. In a study looking specifically at sunlight in California between June and December found that the average hours of daylight had dropped by an astonishing 4 hours, from 14 hours a day in summer to 10 hours a day in winter.
One scientist from big-coal has pushed back against criticism that the reduction in daylight hours was a direct result of seasonal daylight variations, doubling down on his concerns by predicting that “if California continues to deploy solar panels at the same rate, we will be in perpetual darkness in just over a year.”
When asked how exactly solar panels were reducing daylight hours, our expert explained “you see solar panels literally pull in light, leading to dimmer lighting conditions in the immediate facility of the panels. The more panels that are installed in a location, the greater intensity of dark that is created, until the point that there is no light. You can see this effect yourself, just look at any solar panel installation and you’ll see that when the sun is shining, there is always a shadow under the panels, this is because they are literally sucking away our precious light.”
“The time has come to address this problem by increasing subsidies to oil and and gas generators, which unlike solar power, provide net-zero reduction in available light from the sun, well, at least once the smoke and smog have cleared.”
Well, we’re convinced, how about you?
