Singapore. August 6th 2020 – If you’ve managed to hang on to more than one real-life friend over the course of the 2020 and 2021 COVID19 restrictions and live in Singapore, you’re going to have to get vaccinated. The Singaporean government, a shining beacon of democracy in South East Asia, is politely mandating that you can only dine out with more than one friend if you are fully vaccinated.
For the 33% of the Singaporean population who are not yet fully vaccinated and need a little more incentive, you’ll be happy to know the vaccinated can also attend the gym without a mask! The benevolence of the transparently elected representatives of the people knows no bounds. Residents of this well regulated island state need only wait in silent anticipation to discover what new freedoms will be forthcoming, just don’t expect your new found freedoms to extend to chewing gum – there are limits even the Singaporean governments generosity.
Outrage among Singaporeans, even those with more than one friend, is deafening; no seriously, either nobody is complaining or we’ve gone deaf. Like a muzzled dog, there will be no backlash among the residents of Singapore.
The expat community would be up in arms, but then, the expats that like a few drinks, and plenty of them, bypassed Singapore and went straight to the fun parts of South East Asia anyway – either that or they’re living back home with Mum and Dad as they ride out the pandemic.
It’s time someone takes a stand and ask difficult questions, like, what if you have more than four friends? Maybe your five friends can go to dinner without you – after all, if you’re reading this you’re probably unvaccinated or in Changi Prison. We know we soon will be.
