Wellington, NZ — In a bold move that has left politicians and volcanologists alike scratching their heads, New Zealand’s government announced today that it will relocate Parliament to the active volcanic island of White Island. The decision comes as part of a new initiative to “bring the heat” to political discussions.
The Prime Minister stated, “We believe that an active volcano will inspire our lawmakers to erupt with creativity and passion. Plus, who doesn’t love a little magma in their Monday meetings?”
Critics, however, have voiced concerns. The Opposition leader remarked, “Is this really the best way to engage constituents? I can just picture voters asking, ‘So, what’s your stance on eruptions?’” He then added, “We already have enough hot air in Parliament!”
Supporters of the move claim it will help constituents better understand the “real issues” facing the nation. “Nothing says ‘urgent policy reform’ like a lava flow approaching your office,” said Minister of Internal Affairs, who requested to remain anonymous for safety reasons.
Local tour operators are thrilled about the influx of visitors who will come to watch MPs debate amidst steam and sulfur. “It’s a win-win,” said one operator. “People can finally see their representatives in action and possibly witness a geological event at the same time!”
However, the decision has raised questions about safety protocols. The newly proposed “Volcanic Emergency Plan” involves equipping every MP with personal volcano escape kits, complete with hard hats and marshmallows for s’mores should an eruption occur during a particularly heated debate.
As the relocation date approaches, many are eagerly awaiting the first session of “Parliament Under Pressure.” In a recent poll, 87% of Kiwis expressed a desire to see how the politicians handle a little heat—both literally and metaphorically.
In the meantime, the question remains: will the new volcanic venue spark innovation, or will it just leave politicians feeling a bit burnt out? Only time—and a few eruptions—will tell.
