Devonport, New Zealand – The New Zealand Navy apologised today after realising that it’s offensive weapons capability was, well, offensive. Rear Admiral of the Navy, Harry Bottom, released a statement apologising for the Navy’s past offences: “In light of my desire to ensure renewal as head of the Navy by the minister of defence, the…
Canberra, Australia – July 2nd 2021. The Australian federal government has launched it’s “no-jab, no-vote” initiative today, ensuring the safety of COVID19 vaccinated Australian voters from the unvaccinated. The no-jab no-vote initiative is modelled on the government’s successful no-jab, no-pay policy which withholds government assistance from parents who refuse to immunise their children. “I think…
SYDNEY, Australia – The Australian Federal government has announced an ambitious plan to stop climate change in it’s tracks. The Prime Minister said in today’s announcement “apparently dead plants and trees in state forests can be burned by fire, I mean this is some really cutting edge science. Logically pre-emptively torching our state forests means…
WELLINGTON, New Zealand, August 30th, 2020 – The New Zealand Government has announced 14 consecutive days of no new COVID-19 cases, just two weeks after all testing was halted. Naively speaking on the condition of anonymity, the Prime Minister said “these tests have been making us look bad for weeks! I mean, there we were…
Australian state and territory governments have lobbied the federal government to fund building a border wall around the state of Victoria
The NZ Navy has commissioned the HMNZS Te Row Row, a Dinghy class vessel.
