Sydney – In a stunning display of democratic innovation, Australia has unveiled a groundbreaking amendment to its voting system that has left citizens both amused and befuddled. The Land Down Under, known for its unique wildlife and unapologetically bizarre politics, has once again raised eyebrows with a voting reform that ties the sacred act of…
Canberra, Australia – In a move that has left Australians scratching their heads, Prime Minister is steering the nation into uncharted democratic waters with a proposal that introduces a mind-bending paradox. Brace yourselves, because Australia is seriously contemplating a national referendum on the very concept of holding referendums, and it turns out, breaking free from…
Sydney, Australia – The safely subjugated and imprisoned population of the state of New South Wales are mourning the shock resignation of the State Premier, the architect of Sydney’s police state. News of the resignation due to a corruption inquiry came as a complete shock, as many had assumed the Premier was entirely above the…
Melbourne, Australia – The Melbourne Police have hung the dead bodies of several protestors at the city’s Shrine of Remembrance war memorial as a warning to others who would consider joining the widespread protests that have gripped the city. The chief of police admitted to the press “we saw the Taliban hanging dead bodies and…
Melbourne, Australia – Police have denounced the violent undertone of protestors’ excessive peacefulness during this weeks freedom rallies in Melbourne. The chief of police gave a scalding rebuke of the hate-filled ultra-right-wing peaceful assembly, “what is wrong with these protestors and their excessive peacefulness?! We spray them with pepper-spray, they do nothing. We shoot them…
Melbourne, Australia – Tired of the escalating demonstrations on the streets of Melbourne, where anti-vaccination and anti-lockdown protestors from the construction industry have continuously outsmarted the states dimwitted and generally overweight police, the Victorian state government has requested the Galactic Empire to deploy Storm Troopers onto the streets of the state capital. The chief of…
Canberra, Australia – The Australian imperial government has today announced that they will revise the citizenship pledge and national flag to better reflect the countries somewhat less liberal and less democratic values. The updated flag and citizenship pledge is proposed as follows: New Citizenship Pledge From this time forward, under the Supreme Leader,I pledge my…
Melbourne, Australia. September 19th, 2021 – After successfully bowling over an elderly woman who was participating in a protest and then pepper spraying her, police have confirmed this will be incorporated into their standard operating procedures for handling protests. “The Victorian state police are proud to announce that we will be embracing an equal-opportunity approach…
Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…
Sydney, Australia – The Taliban has called on the Australian government to respect the democratic rights of Australians, nearly all of whom are perpetually confined to their homes under COVID home-detention edicts. Zabiullah Mujahid, the spokesman of the Afghan government, said “the Australian government has removed virtually all rights of Australians, we hereby call on…
