Wellington, NZ — In a bold move that has left politicians and volcanologists alike scratching their heads, New Zealand’s government announced today that it will relocate Parliament to the active volcanic island of White Island. The decision comes as part of a new initiative to “bring the heat” to political discussions. The Prime Minister stated,…
Canberra, Australia – In a move that has left Australians scratching their heads, Prime Minister is steering the nation into uncharted democratic waters with a proposal that introduces a mind-bending paradox. Brace yourselves, because Australia is seriously contemplating a national referendum on the very concept of holding referendums, and it turns out, breaking free from…
Wellington – In a master-stroke of progressive legislating, the New Zealand government has eliminated gun crime by making the purchase, sale and ownership of guns illegal. The Prime Minister boasted “with no legal way to obtain or own guns, we’ve obviously removed all means by which criminals can acquire guns. Surely even the most hardened…
Devonport, New Zealand – After decades of planning by the most brilliant minds that the New Zealand Armed Forces can muster, the Navy has committed to replacing the country’s two Anzac class vessels with ten heavily armed frigates. The Minister of Defence explained “with the same money, we could have afforded one conventional frigate from…
Canberra, Australia – The Australian imperial government has today announced that they will revise the citizenship pledge and national flag to better reflect the countries somewhat less liberal and less democratic values. The updated flag and citizenship pledge is proposed as follows: New Citizenship Pledge From this time forward, under the Supreme Leader,I pledge my…
Wellington, New Zealand. September 22sth, 2021 – New Zealanders were shocked today to learn that their prime minister is a communist. “We never put two and two together, I mean, we knew she was previously the president of the International Union Of Socialist Youth, but I never thought that meant she was an actual communist”…
Melbourne, Australia. September 19th, 2021 – After successfully bowling over an elderly woman who was participating in a protest and then pepper spraying her, police have confirmed this will be incorporated into their standard operating procedures for handling protests. “The Victorian state police are proud to announce that we will be embracing an equal-opportunity approach…
Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…
Sydney, Australia – The Taliban has called on the Australian government to respect the democratic rights of Australians, nearly all of whom are perpetually confined to their homes under COVID home-detention edicts. Zabiullah Mujahid, the spokesman of the Afghan government, said “the Australian government has removed virtually all rights of Australians, we hereby call on…
Christmas Island, Australia. September 3rd, 2021 – The Australian Government today announced that Australians who refused to be vaccinated will be relocated to labour camps “for their own safety”. The labour camps will be set up on Christmas Island, an Australian territory approximately 1500km (1000 miles) northwest of the mainland, at the site of the…
