New York, USA – September 4th 2020 – MAGA has been rebranded “Make America Green Again”, in a move intended to take to fight for the White House directly to the Democrats. Trump said that a backbone policy of the new MAGA initiative was ensuring unemployed be required to pick up trash, reflecting the Republicans…
SYDNEY, Australia – The Australian Federal government has announced an ambitious plan to stop climate change in it’s tracks. The Prime Minister said in today’s announcement “apparently dead plants and trees in state forests can be burned by fire, I mean this is some really cutting edge science. Logically pre-emptively torching our state forests means…
WASHINGTON D.C. September 3rd, 2020 – In a bid to save the economy from the perils of COVID-19, Democrat leaders have announced plans to euthanise it – the economy, not the virus. A spokesperson confirmed that they intended on ending all economic activity in the name of saving Americans and American businesses from the virus;…
WISCONSIN, USA, September 3rd 2020 – State leaders have defended the burning of towns and cities by peaceful protestors across America, claiming it will allow cities to grow stronger. An unnamed elected state official said “the burning down of a forest allows rejuvenation and regrowth, giving opportunities to smaller plants who had been systemically prevented…
TAIPEI, Taiwan – The Peoples Republic of China has been left high and dry after the UN proceeded with the renaming of the South China Sea to the “Formally Under China” Sea, or F U China for short. “F U China” was deliberately selected to send a strong message to Beijing, and was orchestrated by…
WASHINGTON D.C., September 2nd 2020 – In a bold move intended to win over pro-choice voters, Democrats have announced plans to allow postnatal termination of unwanted children up a child’s 18th birthday – that’s the 75th trimester for those who are counting. A Democrat Representative with knowledge of the plans explained “children are really difficult,…
BUSAN, Korea, September 1st 2020 – North Korea has blown itself off the map, in what is seen as a direct attack on the international community’s refusal to recognise the regimes right to possess nuclear weapons. Leading up to the nuking of the entire country, the regime gave the international community just 24 hours to…
Minneapolis, August 31st 2020 – After months of peaceful riots across multiple US cities, BLM has demanded that the government pay reparations for the damage inflicted on affected black communities. “The government forced us to burn down local businesses and communities, so they should pay reparations to all Blacks who have lost property and their…
Brussels, August 31st 2020 – The EU has moved to ban the use of ibuprofen for headaches after an ill-informed endorsement by US President Trump. In an interview after the Republican National Convention last week, Trump admitted that the Democrat state governors’ handling of the BLM peaceful riots had given him a headache. When a…
WELLINGTON, New Zealand, August 30th, 2020 – The New Zealand Government has announced 14 consecutive days of no new COVID-19 cases, just two weeks after all testing was halted. Naively speaking on the condition of anonymity, the Prime Minister said “these tests have been making us look bad for weeks! I mean, there we were…
