Kabul, Afghanistan. August 28th 2020 – President Biden announced today that the US Air Force will fly sorties to provide air cover for ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army against ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army. The President confirmed to the press “We all know that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so…
Washington D.C., USA. August 21st, 2021 – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have approved a lethal dose of cyanide as a 100% effective for COVID19. Trials of cyanide were undertaken on the January 6th “DC riot” detainees, who are responsible for storming the Capitol, with results published in prestigious medical journal “The Gulag”. Someone…
Sydney, Australia. August 19th 2021 – Sydney airport has been overrun with Australians and foreign nationals alike, desperate to escape the clutches of the Australian military as they take control of the city under the guise of COVID health mandates. Experts had expected a full authoritarian takeover of Australia’s largest city would take three months,…
Kabul, Afghanistan. August 14th 2021 – The Taliban’s advance has come to a grinding halt at the gates of Kabul amid rumours of shortages of virgins for their fighters. For two decades, since the USA and allies entered Afghanistan, the Taliban has promised their fighters a generous benefits package in lieu of an actual salary….
Sydney Cove, Australia. August 12th 2021 – Australia, closed to tourism and with falling iron ore prices, has taken the bold step to return to it’s roots as a penal colony. For those unaware, in 1788 Australia was established as a penal colony, where English sent prisoners for outlandish crimes such as stealing a loaf…
Hawaii, USA – Scientists today warned that the whole world will be under water in just five years if we don’t stop driving gas guzzling cars and rush out and buy a Tesla immediately. A spokesperson for the Independent Data-analysts Informing Officials of The Science Alliance, or IDIOTS Alliance for short, explained the research: “We…
Washington DC. August 8th 2021 – New research revealed today by the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, has confirmed that owning a gun is now more fatal than COVID19. Speaking on the condition anonymity, the Chief Medical Advisor explained “now, when someone dies, we check if they are positive for COVID19, and if they…
New York, USA – The mayor of New York today launched the newly created “woke-pass”, an smartphone app designed to ensure “equity” for all residents. The woke-pass issues “woke-points” to the holder based on their level of oppression, with all businesses required to prioritise customers and patrons accordingly. As part of the new woke-pass, the…
Sydney, Australia – The Australian government, faced with the threat of unapproved speech, radical notions of freedom of expression and calls for democracy, will deploy the Army on to the streets of Sydney. The federal government has said they are “saddened that the military’s annual inclusivity rainbow finger-painting exercises had to be brought to a…
Berlin, Germany – July 15th, 2021. To address concerns by sophisticated urbanites that the unvaccinated, who everyone knows are mostly uneducated rural peasants that lack the basic elements of humanity, a new “National Harmony” or Nuremberg bill has been introduced into the German parliament, the Bundestag. This new legislation will require that all adults who…
