Canberra, Australia – The Australian imperial government has today announced that they will revise the citizenship pledge and national flag to better reflect the countries somewhat less liberal and less democratic values. The updated flag and citizenship pledge is proposed as follows: New Citizenship Pledge From this time forward, under the Supreme Leader,I pledge my…
Villers-Bretonneux, France – The French have continued their spectacular tantrum over Australia’s cancellation of the diesel submarine deal with France, after a new deal was done with the UK and US for nuclear powered submarines. Australia had pointed out how ungrateful the French reaction has been given that more than a million Australian soldiers served…
Paris, France. September 23rd, 2021 – France, Estonia and Denmark announced their departure from the European Union today, in a move mirroring that of the UK in 2020. The group of countries said that they were so impressed with the UK’s exit that they would join them in creating the new France, UK, Estonia, Denmark…
Wellington, New Zealand. September 22sth, 2021 – New Zealanders were shocked today to learn that their prime minister is a communist. “We never put two and two together, I mean, we knew she was previously the president of the International Union Of Socialist Youth, but I never thought that meant she was an actual communist”…
Melbourne, Australia. September 19th, 2021 – After successfully bowling over an elderly woman who was participating in a protest and then pepper spraying her, police have confirmed this will be incorporated into their standard operating procedures for handling protests. “The Victorian state police are proud to announce that we will be embracing an equal-opportunity approach…
Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…
Copenhagen, Denmark. September 14th 2021 – Western governments around the world have condemned Denmark for permitting their citizens too much freedom by removing all remaining COVID restrictions, including vaccine passports. US President Biden commented“how can the Danes call themself a democracy? They’re crazy, I mean, in Denmark people can just walk around unvaccinated, without a…
Sydney, Australia – The Taliban has called on the Australian government to respect the democratic rights of Australians, nearly all of whom are perpetually confined to their homes under COVID home-detention edicts. Zabiullah Mujahid, the spokesman of the Afghan government, said “the Australian government has removed virtually all rights of Australians, we hereby call on…
Christmas Island, Australia. September 3rd, 2021 – The Australian Government today announced that Australians who refused to be vaccinated will be relocated to labour camps “for their own safety”. The labour camps will be set up on Christmas Island, an Australian territory approximately 1500km (1000 miles) northwest of the mainland, at the site of the…
Kabul, Afghanistan. August 28th 2020 – President Biden announced today that the US Air Force will fly sorties to provide air cover for ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army against ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army. The President confirmed to the press “We all know that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so…
