Kabul, Afghanistan. August 28th 2020 – President Biden announced today that the US Air Force will fly sorties to provide air cover for ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army against ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army. The President confirmed to the press “We all know that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so…
Washington D.C., USA. August 21st, 2021 – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have approved a lethal dose of cyanide as a 100% effective for COVID19. Trials of cyanide were undertaken on the January 6th “DC riot” detainees, who are responsible for storming the Capitol, with results published in prestigious medical journal “The Gulag”. Someone…
Sydney Cove, Australia. August 12th 2021 – Australia, closed to tourism and with falling iron ore prices, has taken the bold step to return to it’s roots as a penal colony. For those unaware, in 1788 Australia was established as a penal colony, where English sent prisoners for outlandish crimes such as stealing a loaf…
Washington DC. August 8th 2021 – New research revealed today by the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, has confirmed that owning a gun is now more fatal than COVID19. Speaking on the condition anonymity, the Chief Medical Advisor explained “now, when someone dies, we check if they are positive for COVID19, and if they…
New York, USA – The mayor of New York today launched the newly created “woke-pass”, an smartphone app designed to ensure “equity” for all residents. The woke-pass issues “woke-points” to the holder based on their level of oppression, with all businesses required to prioritise customers and patrons accordingly. As part of the new woke-pass, the…
Texas, USA. May 10th 2021 – The world’s rich and powerful have confirmed that it is obviously the rest of us and not them who must reduce carbon emissions to save the planet. Hot on the heels of another successful jaunt into space, one excessively rich billionaire explained “we the 1% of wealthiest people in…
WASHINGTON DC, September 24th 2020 – President Trump died suddenly while watching seven hours of TV today, throwing the country into even more turmoil than normal. Shortly before his passing, President Trump tweeted “MY MOST FERVENT WISH IS THAT THE NEXT PRESIDENT-ELECT BE A REPUBLICAN”, however Twitter blocked his tweet for violating their terms of…
NEW YORK – Cutting edge research has shown that placing a plastic bag over your head is significantly more effective in reducing the spread of COVID-19 than medical grade face masks. While anecdotal evidence indicates the plastic bags have been linked to asphyxiation and ultimately death, researchers noted “we remain very confident that no one…
It is a period of civil war. Far leftists supporters of Democrat Presidential Nominee Biden, striking from woke urban city centers, have won their first victory against the evil Trump Administration. During the peaceful riots, Antifa spies managed to steal evidence of Trump’s Russian collusion. Pursued by Trump’s sinister Department of Homeland Security agents, Biden…
BOSTON, Massachusetts – The pharmaceutical company behind the first US-based COVID-19 vaccine have rushed to assure the public that “deaths resulting from immunisation should be of an acceptable level”. The vaccine is known as Vaccine for Immunisation of COVID Targetting Improved Mortality, or “VICTIM” for short, has been rushed out of the lab so fast…
