Miami – In the hearings today, President Donald Trump had his case dismissed after he identified as “innocent”. Mr Trumps surprising embrace of identity politics surprised the judge, who as a strong Democrat had no choice but to affirm Mr Trump in his self-identification. Legal scholars were left scrambling to find precedent for such a…
Florida – In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has descended upon former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, deploying a 500 heavily armed agents on a mission dubbed “Operation Missing Memorabilia.” The objective: to unearth the truth behind allegations that Trump made off with more than just memories from his…
Washington DC – In a mind-bending twist of legal acrobatics, the Supreme Court of the United States has shocked the nation by ruling, in a self-reflective turn of events, that the Supreme Court itself is invalid. In a 5-4 decision, the highest court in the land has declared its own existence null and void, leaving…
Palm Beach, Florida – The judge overseeing the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago has agreed to re-redact the unredacted affidavit redaction. The re-redacted filing provides no insight into the motivation for the FBI raid on Trump’s residence, as demonstrated in the excerpt below: ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛the FBI⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ were asked ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ by ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ President Joe Biden ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ to undertake…
Kansas, USA – Vice President Kamala Harris is to take on the role of the Wicked Witch of the West in the upcoming remake of “The Wizard of Oz” movie. The Producer was ecstatic, “we searched the nation auditioning to find an actor with the best witchy cackle in the country to play the part…
New York, USA – America’s poor and middle class are celebrating skyrocketing prices, after having suffering through decades of “stubbornly low” inflation. With inflation on the rise, those of us who are not part of the wealthiest 1% of society can look forward to consumer prices keeping up with or even exceeding the increases seen…
California, USA – The fossil fuel industry lobby and electrical utilities across the nation have raised the alarm over the dangers of solar power, after it was found that solar panels are reducing the available light by literally sucking up the sun’s rays. In a survey of scientists from the fossil fuel industry, 99.9% agreed…
California, USA – The “Discard Embryos Abortion Termination Hospitals of America Foundation”, also known as the “DEATH of America Foundation”, or simply DEATH, have said effective immediately all patients must be vaccinated before undergoing “treatment” to terminate their unborn definitely-not-a-person-yet non-baby. A spokesperson for DEATH of America said “Vaccination isn’t a question of choice, it’s…
Capitol Hill, Washington – Fauci descended the steps of Capitol Hill today, bringing forth a tablet of stone, enshrined with a new commandment from God himself. Fauci announced the new commandment to the waiting masses: “God cares so much for humanity that he has blessed us with a new commandment, ‘thou shalt be vaccinated’ “…
Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…
