Miami – In the hearings today, President Donald Trump had his case dismissed after he identified as “innocent”. Mr Trumps surprising embrace of identity politics surprised the judge, who as a strong Democrat had no choice but to affirm Mr Trump in his self-identification. Legal scholars were left scrambling to find precedent for such a…
Florida – In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has descended upon former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, deploying a 500 heavily armed agents on a mission dubbed “Operation Missing Memorabilia.” The objective: to unearth the truth behind allegations that Trump made off with more than just memories from his…
Washington DC – In a mind-bending twist of legal acrobatics, the Supreme Court of the United States has shocked the nation by ruling, in a self-reflective turn of events, that the Supreme Court itself is invalid. In a 5-4 decision, the highest court in the land has declared its own existence null and void, leaving…
Kansas, USA – Vice President Kamala Harris is to take on the role of the Wicked Witch of the West in the upcoming remake of “The Wizard of Oz” movie. The Producer was ecstatic, “we searched the nation auditioning to find an actor with the best witchy cackle in the country to play the part…
New York, USA – America’s poor and middle class are celebrating skyrocketing prices, after having suffering through decades of “stubbornly low” inflation. With inflation on the rise, those of us who are not part of the wealthiest 1% of society can look forward to consumer prices keeping up with or even exceeding the increases seen…
California, USA – The fossil fuel industry lobby and electrical utilities across the nation have raised the alarm over the dangers of solar power, after it was found that solar panels are reducing the available light by literally sucking up the sun’s rays. In a survey of scientists from the fossil fuel industry, 99.9% agreed…
Canberra, Australia. September 16th, 2021 – New Zealand was disappointed today to find out they’ve been left out of the newly forged Australia, UK, US, or “AUKUS” security pact. Sources involved in the new pact pointed out that the problem was rooted in New Zealand lacking an actual real military, making it rather difficult to…
Kabul, Afghanistan. August 28th 2020 – President Biden announced today that the US Air Force will fly sorties to provide air cover for ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army against ISIS, the Taliban and Afghan Army. The President confirmed to the press “We all know that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so…
Washington D.C., USA. August 21st, 2021 – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have approved a lethal dose of cyanide as a 100% effective for COVID19. Trials of cyanide were undertaken on the January 6th “DC riot” detainees, who are responsible for storming the Capitol, with results published in prestigious medical journal “The Gulag”. Someone…
Texas, USA. May 10th 2021 – The world’s rich and powerful have confirmed that it is obviously the rest of us and not them who must reduce carbon emissions to save the planet. Hot on the heels of another successful jaunt into space, one excessively rich billionaire explained “we the 1% of wealthiest people in…
