Australian nbn national broadband network dug up for scrap metal
CANBERRA, Australia, August 29th 2020 – Amid soaring copper prices and a huge budget deficit, the Australian Government has instructed the National Broadband Network (the ‘nbn’) to to dig up all their copper cabling to cash in on the scrap metal value of the network.
The Federal Minister of Communications has said “see, we told everyone that using copper for broadband was a great idea, but did anybody listen? No they didn’t! Now we get the last laugh! Not only did using copper rather than fibre provide speeds to the Australia public that were nearly twice as fast as dial-up internet, but we’re now able to sell the network for scrap at a handsome profit!”
The former Prime Minister, who scrapped fibre in favor of copper for the nbn rollout said “this definitely puts to bed the copper vs fibre debate; using copper rather than fibre to connect Australian homes to the internet has been a real success story, in fact once we finish digging up the copper, we’ll make a handsome profit which should really help the cabinets beer fund! Did mention I was right and the opposition was wrong?”
When asked what Australians would do without internet connectivity, the Federal Minster of Communications said that “there are only 195 countries in the world, so even with no internet at all Australia will be in the top 200! To be honest we feel the internet is largely over rated, and hey, at least this way we can be sure the Chinese stop intercepting our online communications!”
We contacted the nbn for comment, but our letters went unanswered.
