China’s South China Sea claim found to be wine stain BEIJING, China, September 7th 2020 – The origins of China’s claims over the South China Sea have been found to be based on a wine stained map. A historian has confirmed that the original map on which China’s South China Sea claims are justified, was…
BOSTON, Massachusetts – The pharmaceutical company behind the first US-based COVID-19 vaccine have rushed to assure the public that “deaths resulting from immunisation should be of an acceptable level”. The vaccine is known as Vaccine for Immunisation of COVID Targetting Improved Mortality, or “VICTIM” for short, has been rushed out of the lab so fast…
Beijing, China – Just when you thought that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) ridiculous claims of sovereignty over far away places couldn’t get any more absurd, they’ve set their sights much higher, quite literally. As part of new posturing, apparently intended to distract China’s population amidst flooding, famine and and an economy in decline, the…
SAN FRANCISCO, California – Tech start-up and maker of artificial hearts “beats-for-keeps”, is threatening to terminate service to customers after a switch to a pay-per-beat model. The price increase will see the monthly cost to customers rise from approximately $300 to as much as $3000 per month, leaving many claiming the companies is heartless. A…
PHOENIX, Arizona, September 4th 2020 – Photos of Russian President Vladimir Putin hiding in a ballot box while wearing a MAGA cap at the 2016 US presidential elections have been leaked online, providing further evidence of Russian interference in US elections. A spokesperson said “we knew there was Russian inside interference, but didn’t expect they…
New York, USA – September 4th 2020 – MAGA has been rebranded “Make America Green Again”, in a move intended to take to fight for the White House directly to the Democrats. Trump said that a backbone policy of the new MAGA initiative was ensuring unemployed be required to pick up trash, reflecting the Republicans…
SYDNEY, Australia – The Australian Federal government has announced an ambitious plan to stop climate change in it’s tracks. The Prime Minister said in today’s announcement “apparently dead plants and trees in state forests can be burned by fire, I mean this is some really cutting edge science. Logically pre-emptively torching our state forests means…
WASHINGTON D.C. September 3rd, 2020 – In a bid to save the economy from the perils of COVID-19, Democrat leaders have announced plans to euthanise it – the economy, not the virus. A spokesperson confirmed that they intended on ending all economic activity in the name of saving Americans and American businesses from the virus;…
WISCONSIN, USA, September 3rd 2020 – State leaders have defended the burning of towns and cities by peaceful protestors across America, claiming it will allow cities to grow stronger. An unnamed elected state official said “the burning down of a forest allows rejuvenation and regrowth, giving opportunities to smaller plants who had been systemically prevented…
TAIPEI, Taiwan – The Peoples Republic of China has been left high and dry after the UN proceeded with the renaming of the South China Sea to the “Formally Under China” Sea, or F U China for short. “F U China” was deliberately selected to send a strong message to Beijing, and was orchestrated by…
