Christmas Island, Australia. September 3rd, 2021 – The Australian Government today announced that Australians who refused to be vaccinated will be relocated to labour camps “for their own safety”. The labour camps will be set up on Christmas Island, an Australian territory approximately 1500km (1000 miles) northwest of the mainland, at the site of the current detention centre used to house refugees. Experts agree that 1500km is sufficient social distancing so as to keep the vaccinated population of mainland Australia safe from the unvaccinated virus-harbouring inmates housed at the facility.
An official explained, “since the outbreak of the pandemic we moved quickly from our dangerous experiment as a so-called liberal democracy, to a superior authoritarian regime that makes even North Korea look like a bastion of liberty. It is precisely because of these changes that Christmas Island Detention Centre is currently empty, as all refugees have stopped trying to illegally arrive in Australia by sea – in fact, we’ve had to make a concerted effort to stop Australians trying to sneak out of the country by boat!”
Citizens at the labour camp on Christmas island will enjoy productive activities such as writing out by hand the governments new communist manifesto, wicker basket making, wicker basket deconstruction, hole digging and hole filling. In a cruel twist of irony, the population on Christmas island will also be used for human trials of experimental medical procedures and vaccine considered too dangerous to test on lab rats.
“This is a win-win situation, we achieve 100% vaccination on the mainland, we ship of the non-compliant troublemakers, while retaining a holey docile and submissive Australian population.”
